Socially closed

In Sweden we have a proverb that every Swede knows; “Talking is silver, silence is gold”. We believe it is polite to listen and a way to show respect. We do not like to interrupt the one who speak and it is also true that we probably unconsciously seeks consensus in a conversation. Although we may disagree with some of the things the other person says we avoid open confrontation with strangers in the longest. But I can understand that to have a conversation with somebody who just nods and say yes isn’t much of a conversation! For two Swedes this isn’t a problem, we just take turns talking and we also understand the possible silent message that the other person disagree.

We are also very private and “want to be left alone” from strangers. We have an invisible “private zone” of about one meters radius and if a stranger step over that invisible lines if there is no need for it, and come to close, we feel very uncomfortable and even threatened. In the company of strangers we feel inclined to talk. This doesn’t apply when there is limited space; then it is OK to step over the invisible line!

Unwritten laws

There are some unwritten laws that apply to this and that you should know about if you are going to Sweden:

Don’t look direct at another personin an elevator or on the subway. It is quite alright to look at anything else; most people viewing down on their shoes or read the commercial on the walls. This is even more important if you have to stand within the private zone of somebody. To look direct at a person you stand up close to is considered to be cheeky, rude, and suggests an aggressive or sexual approach from you.

Do not say “Hi” to a stranger unless you have a good reason, or if you do, speak about the weather or that the bus is late or something similar. The typical Swede doesn’t normally start conversation with strangers and just rambles on about this and that.

Do not take a seat in a location next to a Swedish on the bus, theatre or subway if there are plenty of seats available anywhere else. If you do; a Swedish will feel uncomfortable and become suspicious, convinced of that you are up to something bad! There is that “private zone again”

Learn how to stand in line properly!The Swedes are the masters on standing in line and we wait for our turn with great patience. Do not try to squeeze in, or to stand to close to the one in front of you. If you stand so close to the person in front of you so there is a body contact you will cause a very unpleasant experience for a Swede and you will certainly get a angry look back and the Swede will try to get away from you by taking a step in some available direction but yet remain in line.

Show feelings

I am afraid that there is the same here. The Swedes do not show their feelings in front of strangers if it can be avoided! If we for some reason don’t like a person, we show our dislike by simply avoiding that person. We do not say Hi, we will look down or if possible, just avoid meeting that person. But as the other person you will never know why, because there isn’t going to be an explanation or a confrontation, unless you have really made the Swede angry!

To show aggression in a Swedish group is such a taboo. Getting angry in a way that it shows is a one way straight out of joint! You must know how to behave and restrain yourself or you will be regarded as a man without self control.

We do not cry in public, or if we do we try to stop crying, or hide that we do. Crying is mostly seen as a sign of weakness or that we can’t control ourselves. Laughing in public is OK though, that is very common. I can’t really tell if we laugh more or less than other nationalities. We are not so good at showing warm feelings to people who we don’t know so well. To show feelings complies mostly with relationships among friends and family.

We have no problem to talk about feelings or sex

The Swedes have no problem with public discussions about feelings or sex, in those cases we are very open minded and it takes a lot to make a Swede embarrassed.

We believe that the society should provide safety for us

This can be seen as a dependent for the government and that we blindly obey the government. But I see it more as we have confidence in something that actually work, our respect for the authorities will not be a fear of someone who decides above our heads, but more a feeling rooted in an experience that we made a collective agreement with the community! Democracy is very important and deeply rooted in all Sweden.

Sporadic contact with relatives

Compared to other nations, we have a more sporadic contact with parents which are something that many immigrants see as callousness.

Feminism and equality

Feminism is strong in Sweden and equality has come a long way. Some argue that gender equality has gone a little bit too far, and if man and women become too alike it will kill the eroticism between the genders.

The Jante Law or the Law of Jante!

And one can’t forget to mention the Law of Jante or as we say the Jante Law! Jante Law is actually a fictional law formatted by a Norwegian author who has had a great impact in Sweden. Aksel Sandemose was a Norwegian writer and he wrote in Norwegian but grew up in Denmark. Jante formulate in words the unwritten law that says you should not be different or think that you are better than anyone else in any way. Jante was of great importance in the past when most people lived in rural areas than today when the Law of Jante has lost its importance increasingly. Some say it is the downfall of Sweden and instead of the Law of Jante we will have a mentality that says, look out to yourself only and don’t care about others which is the opposite of Jante. But the law has also been very negative and sort of pressed people down by making them think that they are not good at anything. Anyway, Jante Law may be on its way out and be very weak now, but it has yet influenced the Swedish style of today and is the bases for the Swede’s restraint.

There is the Swede for you even if I do not think we are that difficult to be around. Personally I like the Swedish way of being polite, to not seek trouble if it isn’t necessary, the view of equality and great care for others. The thing we may lack is the ability to show our feelings and our warm hearts more easily.

Källa http://thougtforce.hubpages.com/hub/What-characterizes-a-Swede-and-the-Swedish-mentality-some-unwritten-laws-on-how-to-behave-in-Sweden